15 months old and major attitude

indianapolis, IN
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15 months old and major attitude

I have a 15month old daughter that has had attitude since about 6 months. When she wants something, she better have it NOW and if she doesn’t get it- watch out. Any insight on how to deal with a young toddler’s tantrums? She pulls her hair, throws everything within reach, and if you dare take something away from her, she is not satisfied without throwing something…even if that something is the exact item you just took from her to set her off. My older daughter (age 3) has her little fussy moments but is basically perfect. So this attitude is unfamiliar ground for me. HELP!!

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  1. I am definitely not a toddler expert, but I know Harvey Karp’s book “Happiest Toddler on the Block” gave me amazing insight into the toddler brain to try and deal with tantrums, etc. I highly recommend checking it out! Also, have you introduced any baby signs? It might be helpful to have an additional way to communicate. Good luck! It does get better!!

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    1. Thank you. Yes, I do some signs with her and sometimes she uses them, but her short fuse just seems to ignite in a single second.
      I will certainly look into the book.

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  2. One of my twins needs things NOW and what helps is to not give in right away and show her that you aren’t going to move any faster just because she throws a tantrum. We also do lots of those wooden puzzles and that has taught her patience, also try to remain calm and not let her see how much she gets to you!

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  3. I think remaining calm ( if possible) is great advice. I would also say to be consistent in giving her as little attention for the behavior as possible. After she has cooled down, talk to her about the way she was feeling. Explain to her that it is ok to feel angry, frustrated, etc., and that there is a better way to respond to that feeling. Give her a simple, easy to understand example such as… When you feel angry : 1) take a deep breath. 2) come Find mommy. It will take a while for her to be able to recognize her feelings, but eventually it will hopefully be helpful. She may need a few months for this to be very effective, but I think babies understand way more than we give them credit for!

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  4. Hi Shawron,
    This can be a very frustrating stage to go through. It sounds like she may be hitting the “terrible twos” early and hard. I want to share with you something I shared in another thread (“Threenager”)…http://www.bundoo.com/bundoo-community/discussion/threenager/

    The terrible two’s and three’s happen for a couple of reasons. It partly occurs because at this stage they are transitioning from fully relying on mom and dad to becoming increasingly independent. Also, from 1 to 3 years of age toddlers are going through a tremendous cognitive explosion, however their ability to express themselves doesn’t typically develop as fast. Both of these can be very frustrating for both the toddlers and the people caring for them…

    At 15 months she may not be very verbal, but clearly has a lot she wants to say. Help her with appropriate ways to express herself. Use and model a lot of feeling words. “You seem frustrated…” “I understand that is disappointing…” and then explain how she should respond. A little timeout to cool off may help too. It is suggested 1 minute for every year they are old. Hang in there, it gets easier!

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  5. Thank you everyone. Good advice. I actually did put her in her first time out the other day. She sat there looking cute and innocent. Makes it so tough, doesn’t it?!

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    1. Absolutely – especially when they do the cutest things and you just want to laugh! That’s good she stayed put though – way to go.

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