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Almost 4 and still won't go #2

Almost 4 and still won't go #2

Hi All! I’ve posted about this before and I’m not sure what to do anymore. Our daughter will turn 4 in November and she still won’t poop on the potty. She holds it and goes in her pull up at night. When she has to go she grabs herself and holds it in, until she has an accident.
Our Ped told us to give her Miralax everyday. Three months later it’s not working. She’ll scream in pain she needs to go to the potty but then she holds it in until her body takes over. We know it has hurt her in the past and it’s a fear. We have awesome reward system and sticker chart in place. We’ve done role playing. We ignore it as much as we can as to not empower the behavior…but we really want to help her. Any suggestions? Do we need to see a gastro as the PED suggested even though she goes almost every night? A psychologist? HELP!

Comments

  1. Did your pediatrician sit down and talk to her at this appointment instead of talking to you? I had a similar problem with my oldest and the doctor explained the risk of holding it in (she was 4 at the time) and taught her ways to make sure it wouldn’t be painful. She wouldn’t listen to me, but did listen to the doctor.

    Also, is she in school? I wonder if the teachers could help.

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    1. Yes and she says she’s scared because it hurts.

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  2. I’m not sure if my son was scared at first or if it was just something different and he didn’t want to do it, but when he first started showing definite signs of needing to poop or actually being in the middle of pooping, I started running him to the potty. He cried and cried the first several times and said he wanted to go in his room (he had a special spot in his playroom where he would hide to go). But after he went a few times and saw that it wasn’t a big deal, he started to come tell me, “Mommy, I don’t have to poop,” which actually meant he did have to go! Haha! Weird kid.

    We also used a bit of a reward system. Does your daughter like a certain character? Maybe do a sticker chart. Or a grab bag of cheap dollar store toys (like the treasure chest at our pediatrician’s office) that she gets to choose from after she goes (or maybe just after she tries to go for the first few times…). We kept up our reward system for about a month, and then when we were getting close to having nothing left, I warned him with a countdown each day. When he got the last item, no more rewards, and he continued to poop like a champ! It took a little while before he would go away from the house, which I didn’t mind at all since public restrooms are a nightmare, but now he will go anywhere. Our big issue was peeing on the potty! We finally have that under control, thank goodness!

    Good luck to you, and keep us posted on what you try and how it works out!

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  3. Once fear creeps in it can be nearly impossible to get them to go. For stool to pass easy, you have to be relaxed and a child who is tense has a very hard time. Years ago, an experienced pediatrician taught me two tips for kids who are holding because of fear of pain: 1. coat their little bottom with vaseline to soothe any sore spots and make the opening less tender (sorry to be so graphic) 2. let them poop anywhere that is comfortable – her feet need to be on a solid surface and knees flexed – adult toilets are not going to work here.

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