"Don't Leave Me!"

"Don't Leave Me!"

It’s begun – the dreaded don’t leave me cries at night. “I just want to be with you!” I know at 2 1/2 they struggle with independence and still needing re-assurance…but I have so much to do! 7:30-10 is my time! Is that selfish? Or do you give in and stay longer with your kids at night. Even after books, and prayers, and songs?
I was moved by this post… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lauren-cormier/the-day-my-son-gave-up-on_b_5701432.html

Comments

  1. That is a great article! It made me think of some of the empty promises I have thrown out there and mainly for the same reasons.. Come 7:30 I am ready for “me” time! Sometimes when my youngest is begging for another story I will read just one more but very seldom. I don’t want her to get used to it and expect me to stay longer. It may sound selfish but this is one of the times of day that us as parents are supposed to be selfish… At least I think so! The entire day is focused on my girls so at night I think I deserve a little peace and quiet. I am a SAHM though so my view may be very different from a working mom.

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    1. I hear you Melissa! I work part time out of the house, and part time in the house. Who are we kidding though….every day is a “work” day when you are a mom. But I agree with you. I’ve been setting her tot clock for 3 extra minutes and when the clock turns blue mommy has to leave. It still tugs on my heart strings though…

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      1. It’s funny that you just created this post because I just left my almost three year olds bedroom after going back in there to hold her. She was a little fussy and never usually is so I went in and she just wanted to be held. I couldn’t resist! 🙂

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        1. aw…..poor thing!

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    2. Melissa, my daughter is only 7 months old, but I think about her bedtime routine and the long list of things I can finally get to when she goes to sleep. Or even after her daddy takes her off to daycare. I work full time, but I think being a SAHM is just as hard as working a full time job, maybe harder.
      I am glad you shared this Kristen and hopefully I can learn early also to be just a little more patient and understanding! Thanks!

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  2. Melissa, I totally agree… we all need some me time! Plus I think our kids can easily turn bedtime into a battle of the wills and use stall tactic after stall tactic to stretch it out. I guess it comes down to figuring out the difference between them just trying to stay up later and them really needing US. When my son said that to my husband it made me aware of all the times I might make him feel like I’m not interested in what he needs, so I’ve tried to be better about it across the board, not just at bedtime.

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    1. Agreed that figuring out their motivation is key! I’m pretty sure the glass of water/have to pee AGAIN/should I have flossed better followed by “I want you” is not a plea for more QT with mom but a plea to avoid bedtime.

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      1. No…they wouldn’t dare would they?! 🙂

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        1. Sneaky little buggers, aren’t they? Haha.
          I remember when I was a little girl, every once in a while I could convince my parents to let me get up and watch TV with them. I would snuggle in between them and I was allowed to stay up until I yawned. I’d try so hard not to, but eventually I wouldn’t be able to hold it in any longer. It’s funny how you remember those little things. Moments like that really do have a big impact.

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          1. So true! My memory is similar: my brother and I always wanted to sleep with my parents. At Easter, the golden egg wasn’t money but a coupon for a night to snuggle and slumber with mom and dad.

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            1. awww that’s sweet! I can’t stand getting kicked all night!

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          2. Lauren, do you let your kids sleep in the bed with you? I’ve been told by people not to ever let them start because it is so hard to break the habit? But I didn’t know if it was an every once in while thing would it be bad?

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  3. Sarah, our kids don’t sleep with us. I was terrified of rolling on them when they were babies, so I refused to do it when they were newborn and it just kind of went from there. If they’ve had a bad dream in the middle of the night or if they wake up extra early they’ll sometimes come in bed with us and it’s kind of nice to have them there for a little while, but I know I wouldn’t sleep well if they were with us all night! (And honestly, it’s never been an issue with them either. We’ve had little seasons of them waking up in the middle of the night or having a bit of a hard time going to bed, but for whatever reason, we’ve been blessed with three kids who are really good at bedtime/sleeping through the night. Now if I could just get them to clean up after themselves 😉 )

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    1. So to answer your question more specifically, I don’t think you’ll have a problem if it’s an every once in a while thing. It would be more like a special treat for your kids to look forward to. When my in-laws visit, they sleep in the boys’ room and we drag the boys’ mattresses into our room. They love it! They know they don’t get to stay in our room forever, but they enjoy it while it happens.

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      1. OK. I was thinking the same thing also. I have just heard horror stories, but I guess that is with everything. Thanks!!

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