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Guilt over other children.

Pembroke Pines, FL
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Guilt over other children.

So I am an only child and really enjoyed it but wanted to have several children of my own. I have two boys (3 1/2 and 1 1/2) and expecting my 3rd boy in January. I feel guilty because number 2 has mostly hand me down clothes, toys and doesn’t get the kind of presents 1st one got. It’s not that I love him less but it seems a shame to waste stuff or to have doubles of everything. My oldest has out grown his bike and it’s in great shape. Do I just get him a bigger bike and give youngest the old one? How do other parents handle these sort of feelings?

Comments

  1. Honestly, I do not think you should feel guilty! My youngest will be getting his brothers bike too. I think if you get your younger children new and different things ALONG with hand me downs, then you’re doing great! The bigger, more expensive things just have to be handed down in our house. We can’t afford all new things for each little one 🙂

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  2. I don’t have any advice on what you should do but think it’s perfectly normal to feel guilty, remind yourself that it doesn’t matter to him at this age and when they do reach the age that it matters to them they will most likely be into different things and be able to have their own *NEW* things 🙂

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  3. Don’t feel bad! My youngest son will be 2 months old tomorrow and I have a bag full of shoes that used to be his big brother’s (almost 7 years old). They are like new. I don’t feel bad about it. I actually think is cute that they all get to wear the same outfit or pair of shoes, not only did I make sure I kept them in good condition but I also take pictures. I have a picture of my 4 & 6 yr old when they were babies with the same Halloween costume. I’ve also saved this little shirt that my uncle (who’s passed away) bought, and my two older boys got to wear it and my youngest will too. Kids grow up so fast that is hard to keep up. I love to buy them new things but I don’t see what’s wrong with hand me down clothes/shoes/toys when they are in good condition and when they are so young they don’t even notice and shouldn’t care.

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  4. Oh mama! Don’t feel bad at all! My middle child gets hand me downs from his brother all the time – including his bike! My son actually likes wearing his brothers old clothes.

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  5. I only have one son, but I sympathize win you! We are planning to have another child in the future, but I already feel guilty. Not only about the clothes and toys, but about my time and energy that will have to be shared. I had this problem with my dog too:) I kept saying that she needed someone to play with, but didn’t want her to feel like she had to share my time. I know that my son will love having siblings more than getting a ‘new’ bike, but I think it is normal to feel guilty. We love our kids and want the best of everything for them. In the end, it is not the material things that really matter to them.

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