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Have you been made to feel bad for having a C-section?

Medical Director, Pregnancy
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Have you been made to feel bad for having a C-section?

I’ve seen lots of moms who’ve given birth by C-section and feel the need to justify it. That is, they think I am going to judge them because they had a C-setion. With the emphasis on all things “natural” these days, many moms who birthed by C-section are made to feel like they didn’t “try hard enough” or somehow had less of a natural experience becoming a new mom because of how they delivered. It makes me so sad when I hear this because it doesn’t matter how you became a mom, you did it and lived to tell the tale! I touched on this in a blog post about why I don’t refer to unmedicated labors as natural labors for this very reason (http://www.bundoo.com/community-blog/the-problem-with-natural-childbirth/) but I am wondering: Any moms out there who were made to feel guilty for having a C-section by others, or who carry this guilt themselves??

Comments

  1. This is a great topic – personally I had four c-sections. The doctors told me many years ago that I won’t ever be allowed to go through labor due to some medical concerns. I knew before I ever got pregnant that I would always have to do c-sections, so I was at peace with it. I have thankfully never been made to feel guilty – or if I was, I didn’t notice it – because I knew there weren’t any other options for a safe delivery.

    I wrote a post on the topic – a letter to moms scared of c-sections: http://mamainthenow.com/2015/04/c-section-mom/

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    1. What a great post! I think it is such a great point that how you deliver your baby is only one of MANY things that you as a mom will be doing for and with your child – it is not the end all be all that defines you as a mom!

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  2. On the flip side… I try to enter any birthing story conversations with a very open and non-judgmental tone. I think no matter what kind of birth you have had, there is judgment from other moms who chose a different path. For example, I was told once from a mom who chose an epidural for a vaginal birth, “You should have just gotten an epidural. There is no trophy on the other side, you know, so not sure what congratulations you’re waiting for.”

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    1. I agree that your tactic is great, because you never know all the details and how that mom experienced her delivery. Everyone’s story is unique and no one should be made to feel bad for the choices they did or didn’t make!

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  3. How timely – a study just released this month shows that children born via C-section have no worse health outcomes as children. Knowing this may help women feel more at peace if they need to deliver this way: http://bit.ly/1VQFHyY

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  4. I had three c-sections. The first was a surprise; my son’s heart rate started dipping every time I’d have a contraction and I was’t progressing fast enough to deliver him without the chance of something going wrong. After that my other two were planned. I had a hard time coming to terms with it, not because I was made to feel guilty (no one ever made me feel that way), but because I’d always pictured having vaginal births and the excitement of giving the final push that would bring my baby into the world.
    I’m okay with it now and I’ve always been so thankful to have three healthy kids, but it was hard to give up on MY plan.

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