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How did you know you wanted another child?

President, Pregnancy and Pediatrics
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How did you know you wanted another child?

I want another child… but can’t seem to pull the trigger and commit to getting pregnant again. My daughter just turned four, and the older she gets the more I realize that I wanted another baby. But I just keep thinking about it, with no plans attached to the idea. I just keep thinking about pregnancy, child care, college tuition even! How did you know you were ready to start trying for another baby?

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  1. No question that the decision to have a second child rivals the decision to have your first. So many variables to consider! The American Academy of Pediatrics actually has an opinion on the timing of a second (or third, or fourth) baby. They recommend three years between children, which can seem like a really long time. Many women worry about decreasing fertility and are afraid to wait that long! And some moms put their careers on hold while having babies and therefore the three year gap is simply too long to be out of the workforce. Would love to hear what different families have to say about this topic!

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    1. That’s interesting. My daughter is four, and I feel like not having them back-to-back might have been a mistake… This makes me feel better, actually. Do you know what the AAP’s reasoning is for the three year gap? Just curious.

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  2. I was an only child and always knew I wanted more than one baby. Being an only child has its pros- tons of attention, not having to share 😉 etc. But, in my opinion, those are cons too. This sounds terrible, but I STILL don’t like to share! I have always wanted a sibling. I envy those with close relationships with their brothers and/or sisters. I had another baby not just for me, but for my son as well.

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    1. This is the point we think about all the time! We don’t want L. to be an only child for her sake… Even thinking about silly things like “Who is going to take care of us when we’re old?” motivates us to have a second child.

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  3. My 2 kids are 25 months apart and if I was asked… my advice would be to wait a little longer. I am two years younger than MY brother so I thought that was perfect and that’s what I wanted for my own kids. But now that I’m living it as the mom, haha, I think 3 years sounds great. It’s hard when they’re this close in age – both home (not in school), both still very much in need (of help and attention), etc. NOW the question is……. a third?!

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    1. My brother and I are 14 months apart and always ask my mom how in the world she did it!

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    2. You *HAVE* to have a 3rd!!! You have the cutest babies ever!! 😉

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  4. After checking out this discussion, I remembered reading this. http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html
    And thought you may like it.

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    1. Love this article! Makes me feel better, as there will be a five year age gap between mine if I decide to get pregnant. The only (and it’s huge) bummer on the cons is that they won’t have a tight bond that comes with being close in age… but there is nothing I can do about that since my time for close spacing has passed.

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  5. I was searching around looking to see if there was already a thread on this topic. Thanks Stephanie for asking the exact question that I was looking for! We know that we want at least one more child but we CANNOT, for the life of us, get a good grasp of what kind of timing we’re looking for. There are pros and cons to all scenarios and I don’t have a gut feeling either way. We know that there will always be “life” things to consider so we’re not really looking to find the perfect time, just the time that feels right to us (both emotionally and logically). I really want to be pregnant again and childbirth is exciting to me, and there will always be financial pressures, so I don’t think any of those things are the reason for our hesitation. I, for one, didn’t (and don’t) look forward to the baby stage. I enjoy my son so much more as he gets older and the thought of going back to those first few months is daunting! Did you have an a-ha moment where you just knew that you wanted another or did it take more convincing to bite the bullet?

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  6. Well I guess I need to give an update! I did get pregnant in May, so we ultimately did decide to have another child. And honestly, your reasoning was it. Someone told me once to not worry about whether I wanted another baby or another toddler, but to think about how many people I wanted at my table at Thanksgiving. And I want the Family Stone! I couldn’t even imagine just one child at my table when I’m in my 50s. So I bit the bullet and decide to throw caution to the wind… 😉 However, I will also say that finding out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and that it could take me longer to get pregnant really pushed me to go ahead and start trying.

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  7. I absolutely LOVE that comment about the Thanksgiving table. It’s such a wonderful way to put everything in perspective. I have always envisioned a table full of people and it makes the baby years seem so doable when you think about the big picture. Thanks for sharing, Stephanie!

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    1. 🙂

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