Hi Rose, I am so sorry you are struggling, but so glad you are reaching out for help! The good news is that how you are feeling today does not have to be how it always is. You are absolutely right that the amount you are drinking is too much, and my guess is that it started as a little relaxation and then progressed into a coping mechanism and now a dependence. You definitely need help to get past this and can’t and shouldn’t have to do it alone. There are many ways to go about getting the treatment you need. You can opt to start talking to someone (ie a therapist or counselor) and coming up with a way together to talk to your husband, or you can start with telling him so that he can help you on the journey to getting better again. What feels right for you? Can you also reach out to a friend or family member to help tell him? Another way to get support is online, and there are tons of resources I am sure you can find that fit you best. Here is one I just came across: https://sobermommies.com/
Whatever you choose, you are making the best first step by recognizing you need some help and you should be proud of that. Please keep us posted and let us know what else you need!
Jennifer, thank you a lot for support.
I understand that I need to share my burden but I blame on myself and feel that others will also do that.
My husband, I love him so much, I don’t want to disappoint him. It’s hard to tell him about this, but I cannot keep it in secret as well…. I believe that online support is the best option for me, for now. I will try.
Once again, thank you for that warm words and recommendations.