Seperation Anxiety

Sagamore Beach, MA
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Seperation Anxiety

My 2 year old is driving me crazy! I love that he loves me and wants to be with me all the time, but I feel like we were making progress with him becoming a little more independent, when all of a sudden, he’s going back to having to be in the same room as me, freaking out when I leave, etc. Why are we going backwards? The only time I leave him (he’s at home with me 24/7) is at church in the nursery. And this last Sunday it was the worst. He ended up having to sit with us during half of the service and then the second half, my husband and I had to split the time in the nursery with him. He did okay for a couple of weeks and we would let him cry, and then he’d get quiet. But, he now starts screaming when we get to the church and start the walk in. Help, any advice?!

Comments

  1. Hi Alexe,
    This is actually very common. Fear of separation usually peaks about age 18 months and will typically decrease soon. Since the two of you spend all your time together, unless he’s in the church nursery, it’s understandable he would be most secure with you over anyone else. There are a few things you can try. Practice separating from your son more often. Leave him with a trusted caregiver for short periods of time. Develop a ritual like a special wave or goodbye kiss. And when you depart do it swiftly, don’t linger. This will pass. Soon you’ll be asking “aren’t you going to miss me?” 😉

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  2. My husband and I just both went away for the weekend and left my 18-month-old son with my mom. He had never been away from both of us at once overnight before. I thought it would be rough, but we said our goodbyes about 20 minutes before we actually left. Then when he was distracted, we kind of snuck out. We decided to do it that way because whenever we tell him bye and walk out the door, he screams and cries for 10 minutes or so after we leave. We hoped if he didn’t realize we were gone, he would be okay. And he was perfectly fine the whole weekend! He took naps without whining, ate as usual, played well, and only asked for us a few times without really fussing about it. I was really happy that he was taking it so well. We just got home tonight and we knew he would be so excited to see us, but all we got was a smile and a “hey” before he was playing on the floor with the toys he obviously missed more during his nap! I’m kind of glad he did so well since we’re going on a 7-day cruise in a month and this was the trial run, but I kind of wish he missed us a little more! 😉

    Long story short, maybe a distraction while you step away would work. It seems to have worked for us…this time anyway! 😉

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  3. When my oldest daughter was almost two we enrolled her in a preschool and it took her about 3 weeks to walk in without screaming. Everyday I would drop her off and she would cry on and off for most of the day but I knew this was normal for her age. After those three weeks though she was great and I think enrolling her in school really helped with the separation anxiety. My youngest daughter is two now and she was much easier to leave at school. Didn’t really cry at all but I would also sneak out while she was distracted. When we have babysitters we tend to sneak away also. This makes it much easier than trying to get out the door with a child stuck to your leg.

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