My wife and I have been having this discussion for a long time, because I suspect we’re not the norm even though things are changing. Like a lot of people, I was raised with pretty set gender expectations: dad worked, mom didn’t, dad came home every day at 6:30, had a scotch with bitters, read the paper, then we ate, then he was off to watch the news and do it all over again. It worked for the times. But when we had our first son … that just didn’t fit, and it never really has. We split childcare pretty much equally–we’ve both changed our working schedules to work around the kids, so Mom or Dad is always home and around and both of us still have professional careers. I do all the cooking (by preference, because I like to cook and she doesn’t), and since we both hate cleaning, we suffer through it together on ritualistic “cleaning days.” I think for us at least, it wasn’t really acceptable to either of us not to work in some capacity–we both love our work–but really, the first priority has always been working together as parents, so if that means turning down jobs or working weird hours so I can wait in the playground to pick my son up or so she can volunteer in his class every week, then so be it.